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LSRCo--It's what you didn't know
All content provided by: LSRCo © 2004
Episode 20050621
It has been a while since my last update, due to Myspace. I got one and there went all of my computer time. So today,
I will add some jokes, a link, and my myspace page! haha... Latest Media:
Joke 1
Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong. "Well,"
replies Paul, "you know that beautiful girl who I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh. "Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally plucked up the
courage to ask her out, and she agreed." "That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"
"I went to meet her this evening," continues Paul, "but I was worried I'd get an erection again. So I got
some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn't show." "Sensible" says Jeff. "So
I get to her door," says Paul, "and I rang her doorbell. She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you ever
saw." "And what happened then?" "I kicked her in the face."
Joke 2
A woman goes into a dentists office, and after her examination, the dentist says, " I'm sorry to tell you this, but
I am going to have to drill that tooth."
Horrified, the woman replies, "Oh, no! I'd rather have a baby."
To which the dentist replies, "Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair."
Episode 2005526
11 days of regular class left, not including finals. Can't wait for summer, this weekend will be a for sure party
weekend. Freshmen ruin everything, and they are really annoying. Anyway, No school Monday! and I am just adding some content
today. Latest Media:
Joke 1
A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of
their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."
Joke 2
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son
and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten
it."
"You're wasting your time, " said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
Episode 2005525
12 Days left of regular class, not including finals, we get out June 17th. Can't wait to for summer. Today I just
added some videos, and I made a myspace last thursday, so I might add the link on the next update. Latest Media:
Episode 2005520
I just added some media today. Latest Media:
Joke 1
A couple had been married for several years when suddenly the wife decides she'd like to have breast implants.
The husband says, "Now, honey, you know we can't afford that kind of thing right now."
"But I see you looking at other women," pleaded his wife, "and I want to be as attractive as they are to
you."
Days go by and the wife keeps insisting she needs breast implants, despite the protests of her husband. Finally, the husband
has had it. So he says to his wife, "Honey, I have an idea. Every day, about twice a day, wad up some toilet paper, then
rub it between your breasts. Repeat it 3 or 4 times each time."
"You think that'll make my breasts larger!?" asked his wife.
"Why not?" says the husband, "It worked on your ass!"
Joke 2
Peter Kavanaugh enters the hospital for a circumcision. When the procedure was done, he was perturbed to see several doctors
standing around his bed.
"Son, there's been a bit of a mix-up," admits the surgeon. "I'm afraid there was an accident, and we were
forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis."
"What!" gasps the patient. "You mean I'll never experience another erection?"
"Oh, you might," the surgeon reassures him. "Just not yours."
Joke 3
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
"Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".
"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"
"That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda."
There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."
"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."
"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"
"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."
"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"
"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."
Joke 4
Mr. Cikoch was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban girl's junior college. During class one day he asked his student,
"Miss Simison, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to
six times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr. Cikoch, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you
my parents will hear of this. "With that she sat down red-faced.
Mr. Cikoch then called on Miss Hakar and asked the same question. Miss Hakar, with composure, replied, "The pupil
of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Cikoch. "And now, Miss Simison, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not
studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
Episode 2005518L
Just got home from The M-A Talent Show, it was alright, I suppose. No jokes today, but I will post some "content."
Latest Media:
Episode 2005511L: At a Glance
Tomorow my six months is up for my license. Prom is this Friday. NBA Finals are in full effect. So, I am just going
to post lot's of Nba stuff today, because it's awesome, and I broke my finger, so I can't do much playing for the next few
weeks. Download these songs:
1)Nat King Cole: L-O-V-E
2)Nat King Cole: Mona Lisa
3)Nat King Cole: Smile
4)Nat King Cole: Unforgettable
5)Nat King Cole: When I Fall In Love
6)Nat King Cole: The Very Thought of You
7)Nat King Cole and Ella Fitzgerald: Stormy Weather
--Go Download them!--Now I am going to post some NBA links.
Latest Media:
Episode 2005505L
Happy Cinco De Mayo. Anyway, I am too tired to update the site tonight so i'm just gonna add a joke below for you
to read, enjoy. Hit counter is already at 53. I hope you enjoy my site, you can also click below to e-mail me your comments
and suggestions.
Latest Media:
Joke 1
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomachache
and my legs hurt. I not come work."
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give
me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try."
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice
house."
Episode 2005504L
Today I added the hit counter at the bottom of the page, and it's already up to 25, maybe this site will be a success.
I am still trying to update my site everyday, so keep checking back. I might try to get a phlog(picture weblog) up soon,
but i'm not sure yet. Check out the latest videos below, which have been also added to the "Videos" page.
Latest Media:
Episode 2005503L
Today I just added a couple videos to the "video" page. Also, I posted the pictures from my basketball
tournament in Las Vegas 4/31-5/1. Click below to check them out.
Episode 2005428L
Today I took the media that I added yesterday and posted it on the site. I did the same with today's media. I added
a "Joke" page, and a "Video" Page.
Latest Media:
Quick Joke 1
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette
forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks
if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"
Quick Joke 2
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as
stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day,
right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his
wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He
goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted
to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading
the directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
Quick Joke 3
An old couple were getting ready for a night of bingo. The old lady was looking in the mirror and said to the husband,
why are you with me? He said what do you mean? The old lady said just look at me I am falling apart, I have bags under my
eyes, wrinkles all over my face my tits hang to my waist, my arms are flabby and my ass looks like a golf ball, I have just
fallen apart and I cant see why you are with me. The old man replied "well because I love you". The old lady said
" how can you love someone who looks like me", just tell me one good feature I have. The old man replied "For
one thing your eyesight is perfect"!
Episode 2005427L
Site made: 4/27/05. I made this site today. I will update it as often as I can. Today I am just going to start with
the Home page. I have other things in mind with the site that will be added as soon as possible.
Latest Media:
QUICK JOKE 1
Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if
they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So,
all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."; The king then explained, Next, you have
to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or you'll be eaten. The first apple went
in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.
The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself
that this should be easy.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with
it!"
The second one replied, I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
QUICK JOKE 2
An older man goes in for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along.
When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife yells back to him, "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!"
QUICK JOKE 3
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told
the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't
think you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at
only $40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled
with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. " I know you need to make sure my check
is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,"
he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.
"There's no money in that account."
"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?".
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